Thursday, April 28, 2016

When it smacks you in the forehead

Conversation with my therapist:

Me:  I know that I use the excuse of "This is how I was raised" or "This is what I have always done."  When does that excuse stop?

CMW:  The day that you walked into my office.

(OK, that's not exactly what she said, but it's the general idea.)

Basically, she said that you can only claim ignorance through your first trauma.  Mine happened my freshman year of college.  From that point, she said, I began learning skills throught therapy on how to cope with feeling and how to deal with my anxiety.  That's not to say that I don't still struggle with putting those skills into place, but I at least know them and can identify when they are to be used.

For 18 months I have used the "I can't" excuse with CMW.  I can't talk about this.  I can't handle talking about that.  I can't go there anymore.  And much like the demise of my old blog, that stops here. 

Shit just got real. 

Time to crawl out of the shell that I have built around me and look into the sunlight....






No comments: