To do list

These are the things I am hoping to accomplish this summer.  My husband thinks it's funny how I have intermingled my long and short term goals:

Finish re-mulching the side yard
Plant Lillys
Weed garden
Wash all sheets
Kitchen Table
Hall Closet
Conquer Kitchen Cooking Shelves
Retype FSA By-Laws
Walk Mia
Wash Kitchen Floors
Write Book
Clean Bathroom Closet
Clean/Purge Desk Shelves
Shutterfly/Yearbooks for kids
Pile in living room
Redecorate Fireplace

Normal, right?  Ok....maybe the "Write Book" thing isn't on EVERYONE'S list...but did I mention that I have worked out the 24 character names and can visualize the classroom and have biographies done for the main 6 characters?  It's gonna be good!  I have also done that kinda writing where you know how you want certain paragraphs to go, so you write them down even if you don't anticipate that it will actually happen until book 3, but you don't want to forget what is in your head because it sounds so good in this exact moment!!!!!  That was said with increasing excitement and pace....i hope it read that way....

The End

The Great American Novel

So, if EJ James can get her kicks by writing the great American Porn British Novel, I can so make a few bucks by writing a book myself.

Seriously, though, I have thought about it for years, and have even had a running story plot in my head.  Think along the lines of Babysitters Club or Sweet Valley High...I have a handful of fairly well developed characters, I can "see" them in my head, how they would interact, the messes and teenage angst they would get themselves into, but I have no idea where to go with it.  Do you?  (and that's a true question.)  Do I just start writing and then send it off to publishing houses in the hopes that someone picks it up?  Do I need to get a literary agent?  Is there a Writing for Dummies book that I should be securing from Barnes and Noble?  Would you buy my book so that I have at least 10 sales?

50 Shades of Interesting....

Ok...so I read it...and I read all three of them in about a weeks time....and it wasn't (totally) just because of the erotic literature....I think it actually had a really good story line...

SPOILER ALERT:  Do not read if you are going to read all three books and don't want it ruined....

Handsome rich young man meets an attractive college graduate and falls head over heals for her.  Mix in a stalker ex-"girlfriend" and a psycho old foster brother....and you have a pretty good story line.   That's not to say that the other parts weren't good, there are certainly some things that I have learned and had to look-up, but I don't think that the world should only focus on that aspect of the book.  What about looking at the power of what a good woman can do?  Christian was one messed up man, and Ana's love and patience, (and her stunning good looks) were able to transform him totally.  That's romantic.  That's true love.  Sure, it didn't hurt the story line that Christian has eleventy billion dollars and could spoil the crap out of her....but what one of wouldn't look at that part of the story line and be just a little jealous?  It's classic Cinderella (mixed in with whips and chains....totally relevant to the times...)

Just saying....don't diss it until you read it....it's made me think about a few things....(ok....maybe about a lot of things but not all of them are X rated...)

Rest Well, Dear Ben.....

I remember the day that we got him very clearly.  We had researched a number of breeders, and looked for a recent litter that had a male pup.  It was a snowy, Saturday morning, and we headed out early as it was a drive.  We went just over the boarder of Indiana into Michigan....like just over the boarder.  It was odd because we were driving down a side street, one second it is an Indiana address and the next is Michigan.  The breeder, highly recommended, had not only Great Pyrenees, but also St. Bernard's, as they make good companions.  The owner was a very heavy set man who remained in his Scooter, and had his sons fetch the two male pups that he had left.  At 8 weeks old, they were already almost 20 pounds and just little balls of fuzz.  We watched the two brothers play, and finally decided on the smaller one, hoping that it meant he would grow a little smaller as well.  He was all white except for a gray mask on his face that the owner assured us would fade over time.  Jim crawled into the back seat with him; I agreed to drive home.  We went back and forth between names, finally settling on Ben.  Big Ben, he would be one day.

We enrolled Ben in puppy classes, more so that we could learn what to do with him than he could learn how to behave!   While he was certainly the biggest puppy in the class, he was far from the most coordinated or fastest.  He quickly made friends with a Bullmastif puppy...and the two were inseparable  So much so, that after about 6 months of having Ben we decided to look at getting a Bullmastif ourselves.  We found a good breeder who was located in Illinois this time, and drive out to her farm in the middle of NOWHERE!  The pups were about 8 weeks old, and we had at least 8 to select from.  I fell in love with this tiny female right away, and we quickly signed the paperwork and brought Mia home and into our lives.  It only took a few hours for Ben and Mia to become quick buddies.....

(Ummm..yes, Ben grew that much in 6 months....CRAZY) 

When Ben was about 4 years old, he stepped in a hole in the back yard and tweaked his knee.  We were told at first to watch it, that it might get better.  But, as it always goes, his knee did not get better on its own...and we were left with a full knee replacement surgery....Holy Cow....didn't we wish then that we had bought the pet insurance.  The doctor told us at that time that a surgery like this meant a shortened life-span.. Great Pyrenees usually get about 12-15 years, we were told if Ben made it to 10 we would be lucky.  

Ben and Moo

Sibling Love

We watched Ben slowly go from our happy-to-bark-at-the-wind dog to our elderly friend who struggled to get up, to walk, to move about the house, to eat, drink......it happened over 4 years time, but it seems like a blink of the eye.  We used to have him groomed at PetSmart every other month, and I remember the last time we took him and they said that they just couldn't do it anymore since he couldn't stand long enough...it was so sad.  We made him as comfortable as we could, added a ramp to the side yard so that he could get outside a little easier, bought extra carpet for our hard wood living room so that he would have a better grip on the floor, tolerated long barking session in the backyard as this was the place that he loved to be the most.  It slowly and painfully became obvious to us that we were holding on to Ben for us, not for him, and that this was no longer fair.

I cried silently the entire ride to the vet's office today.  Jim had to carry Ben's hind quarters as he hobbled into the waiting room, he just didn't have the strength to do it himself.  They placed us in a "quiet room", it was oversized, lots of chairs and a bench, and a big carpet in the middle.  Jim stroked his head and neck; we sat in silence.  What do you really say?  The vet came in and explained what would happen, brought in a blanket that Ben could lay on.  We placed it over the carpet, and I sat next to him on the floor, rubbing his head, telling him it would be alright.  They had trouble finding a vein as he had become dehydrated, and it took 3 needle pricks before they could inset an IV.  We knew the process, we have had 2 cats put down before...but I don't think that there is really anything that prepares you for it....We held him and talked to him until the vet said it was over and left the room....Our sweet Ben, our protector, our fuzzy monster who left us with hair wherever we went.  Jim and I had a running joke from the time that we brought Ben home that wherever we went, a part of Ben went, too, as there was always at least one Ben hair on us somewhere...

Ben was our first baby....our first "we are really in this for the long haul" project....our first learning experience of sleepless nights when there were thunderstorms (he was the biggest baby and always had to come and sleep in our room at the slightest rumble or flash of light)...of "potty training"...of middle of the night ER visits when Ben took Mia's rawhide and was promptly bitten for it....He was a part of the girl's growing up, giving them rides like a little pony...standing in front of the TV at just the wrong time....

The house is very quiet tonight.  Jim and I are rather sullen....the girls are at gymnastics and in the 15 minutes that they were home between school/playground with Becca and changing for class, they didn't notice his absence.  I don't know exactly what I will say to them tonight that will make them understand that he is in a better place, that he doesn't hurt anymore, that while we are sad we can hope that he is running around with Chenna and Moo (our two cats gone before) and barking at squirrels in the trees.  I am sure that it will take awhile for our house to get used to its emptiness, its quietness, its loss of our dear sweet Ben.....

  

A song for the night

Lifehouse ~ Broken

The broken clock is a comfort
It let's me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
I am here still waiting
I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
So I'm holding on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
Barely holding on to you

The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
Tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection
Inside my eyes
That are looking for purpose
There still looking for life

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
Is there healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on
(I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holding on to you

Hanging on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be OK
Broken light on the freeway
Left me here alone
I may have lost my way now
Haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin' on), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
Barely holding on to you
I'm holding on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin' on), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
Barley holding on to you

GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok...so maybe the Mount Prospect Kindergarten Storm didn't have so many goals today...but they certainly had a lot of fun trying!  I am thankful that the rain held off as they would have all been crushed to miss the first game of the season...

Check out
Lilli and the tongue...just like her Papa...

For the Love of a Colored Egg

I hate dying Easter Eggs.  HATE.  Despise.  I have strong disliking of....

But it's one of those things that a "good mother" should do.  So every year I pull out the vinegar, the PAAS cups, the little bunny shaped egg scoopers, and let the girls go at it.  Thankfully this year I had Becca to help with the process which made it much smoother.

What was interesting to watch was the style that the girls used to color eggs was very much like their little personalities.  Lilli likes everything to be done now, and likes to claim everything as her own.  Therefore, most of her eggs hardly have any color on them as they were in and out of the color baths so fast, and EACH ONE has her name written on it with the wax crayon....all 18.  Abigail moved nice and slow, takes her time, and her eggs took long dips and came out bright and vibrant colors.  (And I just WAY over thought the Easter Egg Coloring process....wow....)

Now the question is, what do we do with 32 colored eggs?

Umm...yeah, my walls are different colors....still trying to plan out what to do with them...

Gotta make sure each egg has my name on it!